Hello Reader!

Pretend you’re walking into a store, and the person holding the door for you says you have purple and green hair. You would be confused by the statement, and would reply that no, your hair is brown. Weird, but probably you wouldn’t give it a second thought.

Now pretend that same person says you’re a self centered bitch. You become indignant, offended, mad and hurt. Why such a different reaction than the hair comment? Because you believe it.

The judgements you think they have about you are the ones you have about yourself.

My sister in law gave birth to a beautiful baby boy last week. After they were home and recovered for a couple of days, my brother in law came by to pick up their dog, who we were keeping while they were in the hospital and recovering. I sent him home with a bouquet of flowers. When she texted me a thank you I apologized for not reaching out to her while she was in the hospital and recovering because I didn’t want to bother her. It occurred to me that what I thought of as giving her space to adjust to life with a new baby, she easily could have thought I was being inconsiderate. She replied that she never ever thought of me as inconsiderate.

The judgements I think they have about me are the judgements I have about myself.

Picture your flower gardens in the back yard. Inevitably they have weeds. Some, like chickweed, have shallow roots that go everywhere. Others like dandelion, go so deep you can feel the root break when you pull it, knowing some has been left behind. You have an hour to spend cleaning them up. You can pull up everything and rake the top of the soil. The whole yard will look nice. For a while. But the weeds will come back. In a couple of weeks, in a month, when the sun is hot and water is scarce. Or, you can concentrate on one small garden and dig deep. Getting all the way down to the root, turning over the soil deep deep into the ground. Those weeds are not coming back.

We have the same choice when working through our limiting beliefs, thoughts and self judgements. We can “go big or go home”, or “new year new me”. We can change our appearance - hair or clothing. We can start new habits, or break old ones. We can move across the country, rearrange the furniture, quit our job and start a business. We can daily mantra our way through the week. Unless we get to the root of those limiting beliefs, thoughts and judgements though, they are going to cycle back up to the surface. The honeymoon phase of the new haircut will wear off. The new habit will break. Our same old shit will come back up again, like an old weed we thought we pulled out.

What is one belief you’d like to change?

Money doesn’t grow on trees. I have to work hard for money.

The most amount of money I can make in a year is $XXX

If I don’t do it, no one else will.

The husband earns more money than the wife.

I’m selfish.

Politics aren’t important.

I’m not sexy.

I suck at this.

I’m a procrastinator.

I will always struggle with my weight and it’s normal to obsess over it.

Houses should always be clean.

I am responsible for other peoples feelings.

I’ll never be able to stop drinking.

Think of one and pull on it until you have the whole root. Where did it come from? What fear is it hiding behind? How is it serving you? What are you making it mean about you? What is it protecting you from?

Once you go through that process, which could take anywhere from 1 month to 5 years, you will feel a physical shift in your body. In your heart, in your belly. A new identity, a new truth, will be born. That’s when you’ll know you got the whole root.

It’s time to question the thoughts, beliefs and judgements that happen so quietly in the background we don’t even notice them. Are you ready? Hit reply and let’s talk.

Action Steps:

1. Listen to your thoughts.
2. Pay attention to the things you say about yourself outloud.
3. Find the one you want to question.
4. Dig deep.

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​Journaling is a big part of my daily life. It’s how I know what I think. Otherwise it gets all jumbled up in my head and influences my decisions unconsciously. Living life on purpose with intention is my goal. Journaling helps me get there. Free writing is my preferred method, but sometimes I need a little push in a direction to get started. I thought maybe you may need some inspiration as well.

Enter the question of the day writing prompts:

1. How have I participated in creating my current result?
2. How do I keep co-creating this dynamic that I say I hate, but keep finding myself in?
3. What do I avoid when I choose to feel helpless?
4. Whose goodwill do I ignore, whose attention do I deflect, and what richness of relationships do I foresake when I have a death grip on my identity as someone that is not worthy?
5. If you had everything you desired, would change still feel scary?

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​Question everything. And then move forward with grace and love.

Grateful for you,

Diane

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